Working Mom / Stay At Home Mom

I don't really know how to start this post because I don't really know what i want to say except my life long dream was to be a stay at home mom. I have never wanted to be the high powered, all mighty, working woman climbing to the top with the big boys. Which is probably why my couple of trys at the College thing never worked out so well.

I've just wanted to be a loving thoughtful respectful wife, a wonderful caring loving mother, a home maker, the person that makes my home inviting to my family and friends, a clean place where people want to be, and children run and play and laugh and sing songs and build forts and color on the walls and break windows and have tickle fights.

But right now, I am the full time working woman, part time maid, feels like part time mother, part time friend, part time wife. I think i need to realign some things here.

My house is a disaster most of the time- which is not entirely my fault- i have to perfectly capable little boys that can do things to help around the house, i have just never enforced it with them, so they come to expect if they don't do it I will. - that usually turns out to be the case. I jsut pick up after them b/c its easier. They have chores that are assigned to them and they used to do them every day but at some point we got out of the routine and I have never stepped back in to enforce it again.

here is my day:

I go to work at 8:30 every morning, get off at 4:30 and pick up the boys at 5:00ish, go home sit them down to do their homework, try to help them if needed by the time they are done gripping about having to do homework and completing it its usually about 5:45, then i try to find something to make for dinner, b/c most of the time i forget to take something out the night before, make something for dinner/eat dinner its now about 6:30/6:45. Clean up the kitchen X 2 b/c i probably didn't do it the day before because I was tired. so now it's about 7:15 and while i've been cleaning the kitchen or doing some other chore of my own the boys have been pulling things out of their toy boxes or begging me to play video games- which i say NO to on school nights everytime and i dont know why they even ask- i tell them go pick up your things and lets get ready for a shower, sometimes they pick up the stuff, sometimes they just look at me like i said something in Japanese or something, and i give up and just say GOOOOO. ( at some points during this time i might or might not loose my cool - especially if the dog gets in my way or pesters me or something) ok by 7:30 showers have begun and we rotate them out and by 8:00 both boys are bathed and in PJ's. about 2/5 nights they come out with no pj pants on b/c i haven't finished the laundry and they have no jamma pants. Most nights i let them lay in their beds and watch TV until 8:30 or 9:00- depending on if they are quiet or not and then i turn the TV off in their room and go sit in the recliner and exhale. Please keep in mind I am currently about 6 months pregant and really feeling it. My husband- AWESOME. he does this that or the other everytime he is off of work. He helps me in some way shape form or fashion- either laundry, dishes, taking out the trash- anything i need.

Please understand- and i really have no clue if anyone reads my blog but- i love my children, i love my husband, I made my bed and i lay in it everynight exhausted. This is not exaclty how i had imagined i would handle motherhood and working and all that but this is how my day goes. on the weekends, i clean everything else that didn't get cleaned during the week. so i spend my life currently- working, tutoring, cooking, cleaning, sleeping and not doing NEARLY enough loving on anyone.


i must make some adjustments.

Adjustments:

1.I have decided that starting on Monday we are going to go back to the boys doing their chores DAILY.

2. I will assign myself days of the week to do laundry and stick to them. If Justin is off work on laundry day, he can help if he wants to.

3. I will make time everyday to spend time with each boy, including my husband, individually- not cleaning or tutoring

4. Every weekend I will spend time in the baby's nursery until it is complete.

5. Everyday I will make sure my husband and children know they are more important to me than a clean house.

These are the things i plan to start with. i think its a good start. My sweet husband got promoted but we don't feel like it would be comfortable for me to quit working just yet or after the baby. We want to have a good nest egg and not have to worry about things. So hopefully by the end of this year maybe. I know it's alot of pressure for my husband to keep having to push himself to rise up the ladder and get promoted again and again so that i can stay at home with our children. All i want in the world is to be able to have my days go something like this:

Make breakfast for the boys, daddy, and carolina. Send daddy off to work with the lunch that i packed him from dinner left over's b/c i didn't forget to take something out to cook. Take something out of the freezer for tonights dinner, drive the big boys to school, take Carolina to the park afterwards for a morning walk/stroll, come home get ready for morning nap time, clean up the living room and vaccum, dust, scrub while Carolina is napping, get her up and fix some lunch, do a project ( when she's older ) or maybe go see daddy at his store for a few minutes to get out of the house, come back and pick up the big brothers from school or the bus stop ( i have only seen my boys get off the bus 3 times since they have been in school and Irey is in 2nd grade ) come home and fix them a snack, while i help with homework..............you get the idea.

Stay at Home moms that read this: please do not be offended if i in any way glamorized what you do on a daily basis, i realize that there is much more that goes into what you do, adn frankly i would love to find out first hand. i know you probably feel like a maid a babysitter and probably feel like you don't get enough credit for what you do. but if your husbands ever liked having a clean house and never told you that they appreciated coming home to a clean nice smelling house, send them to mine to take a peak at how incredibly hard it is to maintain any type of cleanliness while working 40 hours and trying to act like a normal person.


I am going to stop this post now b/c it just feels like i am beating on the keyboard with a furry. I want to be a stay at home mom. period. at this point in my life, i can't be. i know and trust that one day i will be a very proud, under appreciated, tired stay at home mom- and I can't wait. :) I love my husband for trying so hard to make it happen for us and our family. That's all.